Nine to 5 is a way to make a living. Coincidently, it’s also the exact amount of time it takes to become totally freaked out about child birth. Please, let me explain.
Melissa and I spent the entire day (9-5) in a getting-ready-to-give-birth class.
That’s 8 hours of watching babies be born, with medication, without medication, and by caesarian section. Giant needles going in, catheters coming out. Vomiting, crying and nearly passing out and that’s just what I was doing. What was happening on screen was much worse.
And so much information, how do I keep it all straight? Do we go to the hospital when the contractions are 1 minute long and 5 minutes apart? Or 5 minutes long and 1 minute apart? An epidural makes you pain free, but makes labor longer? Isn’t it already like 30 hours? Ahhhhh!
People always talk about the miracle of birth. But as far as I can tell, the only miracle is that people have more than one child.
(Breathe. Hee, hee, hee… blow)
Ok. I’m better now.
It wasn’t all bad. Melissa spent half the class getting massaged. We learned some good hand, foot and back techniques. There were some breathing lessons (as demonstrated above) and even a group drawing activity where we drew a pregnant woman doing a handstand (please don’t try that at home).
One last thing I learned. I’ll take our boring pregnancy any day. I’ve jokingly complained about Melissa being boring, but after listening to these other women’s horror stories (one has been sick since week 4, another has been diagnosed with Leukemia) I won’t do it again. Instead, I will thank God for allowing us to have an easy pregnancy and hope for a smooth delivery.
Even if it freaks me out a little. Or a lot.
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