The Bee Gees are Lifesavers

It was called “Safe from Harm” but our latest class should have been called “How to Keep Your Baby Alive”. From what to do if you drop your baby, to dislodging a penny from their throat, we covered the gamut of childhood maladies… and honestly it was a little frightening. Turns out babies are pretty fragile.

Here are the 3 important things I learned:

1. The Bee Gee’s “Staying Alive” may actually keep my baby alive. Turns out, the beat of the disco classic is the exact pace you should give chest compressions during CPR. Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb lifesavers? Who knew?

2. Saturday or Sunday between 4-6 PM at grandma and grandpa’s house is the most dangerous place for the baby to be. Saturday & Sunday are statistically the most dangerous days, 4-6 the most dangerous hours and for whatever reasons a high percentage of childhood injuries have at the grandparents’ house. Do the math.

3. Maybe my parents were trying to kill me! First, I had the exact toy box used in the movie about what kind of toy boxes NOT to have. Second, they kept philodendrons all over the house, and it turns out philodendrons are poisonous. Third, they regularly kept me locked in a hot car with small, sharp objects. (Ok, I made that last part up, but the first two are true.)

Another topic we covered… SIDS. The experts recommend you put the baby to sleep on their back (the opposite of what our parents were taught). And they recommend a pacifier for sleeping (something about regulating breathing). If it keeps my baby alive, I’m all for it.

The strangest thing we learned: the extremes the teacher has taken to keep her kids from killing themselves. She has twin boys and said she taken everything out of their room. EVERYTHING! No dresser, no bookshelves, no pictures, just beds. She said they couldn’t be trusted with anything. I guess so.

All this makes me glad we’re only going to have one baby to keep track of… and keep alive. Now I'm off to buy The Bee Gee's Greatest Hits.

Why is this Elk wearing pajamas? You're guess is as good as mine, but it was outside of our classroom and I felt the need to share.